Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Anxiety and Control

Anxiety feels like being stuck in the current, riverbanks to either side. You're clinging to a Boulder. The torrent rushes around you. Don't let go. If you do, you'll be swept off to who-knows-where. 

How did you get in the river? If only you could remember. This was where you woke, arms wrapped tightly around the rock, and before that, all other emotions are a distant memory. You know where you have to go. You can see where you need to be: the river banks. Safety. Calm water. It's all right there, ten feet away. Frustratingly close. 

You know how to swim, you know you can make it. You can get there. This body, this mind, has done it before. But somehow you can't begin. The stronger the current, the more tightly you cling. 

This is wrong. 

A tickle in the mind; it's the faint recollection of acceptance, of peace.

Stop fighting the current. Let go. You must let go. Swim with it to serenity. It's the only way to keep from being overwhelmed. This is your life; it is yours to live, but not to control.